Monday, March 23, 2009

FLUSHING OUT "THE ODDS"

Last night i was anguish to remember some of my past memories. Mood was not as purple as on any other day; trying to get out of the hell of my unwanted memories. Umm as usual i took the services of liquor and just hope it make those memories unsensed. But it wasn't what nature has store for the night.

Umm came back, late in night!! My mind still flurishing the memories, unleashing upon me. So i gave up, and beside my unwillingness gave a thought to past.

I cherish my school days. Althought not big enough both physically and mentally at that time but still can understand value of relation. I remember when i had some serious issues or fights with some really close ones, i usually beat them either physically or with my wonder words and finally just broke down in front of them. Though small but i know deep inside they understand the wrong and we finally made up usually. But those were school days!! As time passed that sense fades away but not for me. Instead became part and parcel of mine. "Really dangerous"!! one of my good frnd once told me. Perhaps didn't understand that time.

So searching the ocean of my memories, the day i encounterd those persons who are going to give some chill in my spine. One i first met in city beautiful became really close frnd, started our carrer together. At times seeks my help; i took it as a frnd's call; umm even more!! Other around us, some of them really had the kind of relation with me what we two have; warned me of his self centeredness, use and throw behaviour; but really don't care them. "What is your problem?? If you hav, have it up to yourself!! Don't spoil my relations" Those were usual phrases i use to throw upon the one who tries to pull our relation apart. At least he was honest with me.

A bad day comes, he had to left the centre and the place. Umm caught with some issue. I remember i was one of few who defend him at that stage. Even had serious fights with one of most loving person in my life. Even he gows, i keep the tree of our relation safe, hope it would grow with time. But it wasn't the case. Sometime back i came to know he ditch me, made speeches behind me, even looted my credits. I still can't believe. So decided to talk with him once. Finally when reconnects, just didn't ask these but one" Still our relation stands?" In return what i got is helloic words from his mouth. Completley unexpected. Shivered me. The Acid RAIN has finally toxified the PLANT of our relation. And me just came back, broken, felt a near one lost. Actually had that feeling.

Ah!! Still furthur query came out with the face of a person whom i gave my best, serve with feeling of human kind. But as for now its all faded out." Doesn't even recognise me, that ugly.......!!!" Pardon my words but those were all that came from my heart.

So till last night was in a state of confusion. Still hoping that they will came back!! "YOU r Stupid! Can't you see they used and throw you?? and you still hoping for reflurishment??" Those were the sayings of one sweet angel, sitting far apart from me, listening to my concerns.

So what to do?? I asked her.
Do the right; she not actually says rather replied with big bunch of words; but gist was this.

So i decided why not give consideration to those who actually wanted me to get rid of all these.

"I have done my frnd. Msged them the words they can't expect of me!!" I told her.

"You really get me out of nuts. You rock my frnd!!" I aplodge with these words and showed my honest gesture to one of the SWEETEST discovery i had in my recent time. Not the first time she helped me feel free, feel light. But never really told till last night. A few more things to say but perhaps will fall short of words.

So at last i gave fire to funeral of the extotic relations i had in my life. And now really feel free, out of my nest of pains. Finally i have with the support of my angel ; FLUSHED OUT "THE ODDS."

And these are the final words to commemorate the situation from the song "IN THE END" from Linkin Park:

" I put my trusts in you, pushed as far as i can go;
for always there is only one thing you should know.."

I SUE YOU ALL, ALL YOU BASTERDS!!